


screm

by StarryNightss



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Boarding School, Drunken Shenanigans, I love Rhodey, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Memes, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Science Nerd Bucky Barnes, Superfamily (Marvel), Texting, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, i wish i could put shuri in here somewhere, its canon, she might show up idk, steve rogers fangirls over tony stark OKAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNightss/pseuds/StarryNightss
Summary: Tony Stark texts the wrong number. Steve Rogers stans Tony Stark. Suddenly, they're sending each other memes. Bucky Barnes ships it. So does Peter.





	1. try me, hoe

**Author's Note:**

> ...ims orry
> 
> (Also, when I originally posted this there was a problem with the formatting. So, if you were confused, give it another read.)

**Bold is Tony**

_Italics is Steve_

Underlined is Bucky 

_Italics/Underlined is Rhodey_

**_Italics/Underlined/Bold is Peter_**

**\------**

 

Wednesday, December 15th, 10:47am

 

**I think i got drunk and stole a bunch of illegal files again**

 

_uhh_

 

_what?_

 

_?again ????????_

 

**Honeybear, are you telling me you dont remember that?**

 

**Ouch.**

 

**Wait fuck sorry wrong number**

 

_are u going 2 federal prison oh my gosh_

 

**Maybe the pentagon should step their game up if a 16 year old can crack their firewall drunk**

 

**I mean**

 

**No**

 

**What**

 

_oh my gosh wHAT_

-

 

Wednesday, December 15th, 12:23pm

 

**Would you believe me if I said I was joking?**

 

_well now i wont_

 

_dw i wont get u arrested_

 

**You wouldn’t be able to**

 

**I won’t worry**

 

_wow ok dang_

 

**Did u just say dang?**

 

_don't b rude :(_

 

**Omfg**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 15th, 1:35pm

 

who were you texting @ lunch 

 

steeeeevvvvieeeee 

 

WHO WAS IT 

 

_we are in CLASS barnes_

 

ok and who was it u dont have any other friends besides me n clint 

 

and maybe nat 

 

_the wrong number guy_

 

why? 

 

_what do you mean why_

 

_cause he texted me_

 

_we had a short conversation_

 

_its not weird_

 

its...a lil weird 

 

_whats weird is you texting me in the middle of class_

 

thats not weird. you texting that guy is 

 

_shut up loser_

 

-

 

Thursday, December 16, 4:29 AM

 

**Are you awake?**

 

**What do you know about quantum mechanics?**

 

**Nothing useful, probably**

 

**It’s 4 am. I shouldn’t spam you with texts. Sorry.**

 

**That sounded sad. I promise it wasn’t.**

 

**I’ll stop now.**

 

_you don’t have to_

 

_im up now_

 

**Shit sorry for waking you**

 

_u didnt_

 

_i was up_

 

_u ok?_

 

**You’re a stranger**

 

**I shouldn’t tell you**

 

**But no. It’s an anniversary. Not a good one.**

 

_if i talk about why i’m up will that distract you_

 

**Why are you up, Random Stranger?**

 

_nightmares_

 

_I was in a car accident with my best friend about a year ago_

 

_it was bad. he lost his arm._

 

_we go to boarding school together, we are the only ones here on scholarships_

 

_thought i lost him for a second. he was driving._

 

_and so i have nightmares_

 

**Holy shit, Random Stranger**

 

**That’s rough.**

 

**Now I know your tragic backstory and you can ravish me**

 

_yeah, how are those connected?_

 

**Shut up and ravish me**

 

_well, not that I don’t want to_

 

_but I don’t even know your name_

 

**Hi i’m Tony**

 

_hi tony im steve_

 

**Hey Steve ravish me**

 

_goodnight, tony_

 

**:(**

 

-

 

Friday, December 17, 5:18 PM

 

**Sourpatch**

 

**Honeybear**

 

**Goobaby**

 

_wHAT_

_Do YOU WANT?_

 

**Damn. Not in the mood?**

 

_Wait shit _

 

_The date_

 

**Yeah.**

 

_Oh, Tony_

_I’m so sorry._

_Are you okay?_

_Do you need to sleep?_

 

**Calm down, mama bear**

 

**I’m fine**

 

**I just miss you**

 

**You’re off**

 

**….being a….guy with a job that I can totally name but choose not to**

 

**I’m here**

 

**being a science dude who kinda owns company**

 

**We are adults. Who can handle things.**

 

_I’m coming over, Tony. For the weekend. Is that okay?_

**Yes. Obviously. Thank you.**

 

_Gotta go. Driving. Eat something !!!!_

_Rhodeybear sent an image:_

__

 

-

 

Friday, December 17, 5:47 PM

 

_os like, how drunk is too durnk for 5pm?_

 

_i have uatocorrecr off my phone_

 

_for the aesthetic tbh_

 

**Don’t ask me. I wouldn’t know.**

 

**Do you really spell things wrong for the aesthetic? And why can you spell aesthetic and not autocorrect?**

 

_idfk_

 

_fuck yuo_

 

**Oh my god**

 

_can i aask a possibly offensive question?_

 

**Sure. Shoot**

 

_you said ur name was tony_

 

_and u mentioned quantam...science shit_

 

_maybe i just think abt tony stark  2 much_

 

_but are you tony stark?_

 

**Tony sent an image**

**:**

 

_wait wh a t_

 

**Yeah, I might be Tony Stark.**

 

**I get it, though**

 

**My last name isn’t something you wanna be around**

 

_NO stop are you ACUTALLY_

 

**Uh, yeah?**

 

_im too drunk to aks for proof_

 

_my friend_

 

_bucky_

 

_the one who lost his arm?_

 

_he has an arm from stark industries_

 

_sum charity shit_

 

_so we looked u up_

 

_and foudn ur twitter_

 

_we fucking STAN you oh my gosh_

 

_ur tweets are the funniest shit_

 

_and buckys kinda a nerd for the shit u do_

 

**I don’t know how to respond to that.**

 

**Are you old enough to drink?**

 

_...im eighteen. dont tell my ma._

 

**I didn’t know there were people out there who actually like what I do.**

 

_obviously there are man_

 

**It’s easy to forget.**

 

_i need to slepe_

 

_goodnight, tony_

 

**Goodnight, Steve**

 

**And thanks.**

 

-

 

Saturday, December 18, 9:03 AM

 

_i just woke up_

 

_thats over fifteen hours of sleep_

 

**I haven’t even gotten that many hours in the past four days**

 

_wait what_

 

_thats concerning_

 

**Lmao. Im good.**

 

**So, you really aren’t,, freaked out or anything?**

 

_no? but i kinda would like to know you arent some creepy dude at my school pranking me_

 

**I can give you proof?**

 

_tweet the word penis frum ur official account rn_

 

**…..fine.**

 

**Done.**

 

_OH MT YGOD_

 

_dont u hvae like. a company to run_

 

_why r u texting an 18 yr old kid_

 

**IM NOT THAT OLD IM T W E N T Y**

 

_woahh ok soft spot i see_

 

_any reason for that?_

 

**I have a friend**

 

**named Peter**

 

**He is 16**

 

**We met thru some charity mentor mentee thing**

 

**But he turned out to be pretty cool**

 

**I think I ended up being kind of a father figure**

 

**BUT IM NOT THAT OLD. IM 20.**

 

_sorry, old man_

 

_gues ur not #yung enuf_

 

**911? This bitch right here, officer.**

 

_Steve sent an image:_

-

 

Saturday, December 18, 10:07 AM

 

hey 

 

punk 

 

where r u 

 

_dorm_

 

practice is at eleven why arent u out here with us 

 

_...im texting the guy with the wrong number_

 

oh my GOD 

 

steve 

 

stevie kins 

 

you realize this is probably a catfish, right? 

 

_what reason would he have for catfishing me?_

 

_its not like he said that he is_

 

_tony stark or something_

 

i guess not 

 

but be careful 

 

dont wanna watch ur heart get stomped on again 

like it did with queen victoria 

 

_that wasnt peggys fault. she had to move._

 

_its not like im in love with him_

 

_(yet)_

 

sure, right. just be careful? 

 

i do care about you, occasionally. 

 

punk. 

 

_yeah, sure_

 

_but he might be tony stark._

 

wait what 


	2. bitch im threw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark has a plan. Bucky Barnes is a nerd. Peter Parker loves his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I only posted this today but Im too excited to let chapter two sit in my google drive

 

**Bold is Tony**

_Italics is Steve_

Underlined is Bucky 

_Italics/Underlined is Rhodey_

**_Italics/Underlined/Bold is Peter_ **

**Underlined/Bold is Pepper**

  


“So,” Bucky landed on his bed, directly across the small dorm from Steve. “You’re texting the _actual Tony Stark._ You have his number.”

 

Steve knew how it sounded.

 

“What do you want me to do, get more proof?”

 

“Uh, honestly, yeah. This could be some punk pranking you, Stevie.”

 

“Stop using the word ‘punk’. It doesn’t sound as cool as you think it does.” Steve kicked his legs over the bed, leaning on the cheap headboard and uselessly (and a little pathetically) checking his phone.

 

“Shut up. I’m cool as hell,” Bucky insisted.

 

-

 

Saturday, December 18, 2:03 PM

 

_do u have a best friend?_

 

**Huh?**

 

_im pretty sure the question was clear_

 

**Damn. Ok.**

 

**And yeah. His name is Rhodey. Or, that’s what I call him. Why?**

 

_idk. i was talking 2 bucky. and i thought ‘hey wow i hope tony stark has someone like that’_

 

**Stop thinking of me as Tony Stark. Im just tryna be Tony over here.**

 

**I do. Rhodey’s cool. He’s the only one who puts up with my shit. And I also totally know what he does for a living, by the way.**

 

_weird detail to add but ok_

 

-

 

Saturday, December 18, 2:27 PM

 

hey is this tony? 

 

**Uh, yeah?**

 

**Who is this?**

 

**I j u s t got a new phone, ty**

 

**Leave me alone**

 

Uh, who’s ty? 

 

this is bucky. steves friend. 

 

**Is this a shovel talk**

 

**Because I don’t do the playboy thing anymore**

 

**(or romance in general)**

 

honestly not really 

 

i do. worry about steve 

 

he puts a little too much trust in people 

 

**Are you gonna get me to tweet the word penis again**

 

no but hearing that story honestly blessed me 

 

I actually wanted to thank you 

 

I play football 

 

steve and i are on the same team 

 

and its really important to me 

 

and i wouldnt be able to play without my arm 

 

that your company designed. 

 

**Are you James Barnes?**

 

Uh 

 

u know my name? 

 

**YES**

 

**I designed your arm**

 

**I should be thanking you**

 

**I’d been wanting to use those prototypes f o r e v e r but pepper wouldnt let me send out a request for someone unless it was thru the maria stark foundation**

 

**And nobody responded but you**

 

**I was SO excited**

 

damn. 

 

thats 

 

kinda amazing 

 

**It’s a small world, I guess?**

 

or fate wanted to bring u and stevie together <3 

 

**oh my….god**

 

-

 

Saturday, December 18, 2:35 PM

 

**_dad_ **

 

**_DAD_ **

 

**_D A D_ **

 

**_D  A     DDD_ **

 

**I’m not answering to that.**

 

**_sorry dad_ **

 

**Dad sent a photo:**

****

 

**_LMFAO TONY ISNT THAT THE D A D FROM JIMMY NEUTRON_ **

 

**FUFKJCK YOU**

 

**_hey how’s my other dad_ **

 

**Idk who ur talking about**

 

**_Steve. I’m clearly talking abt steve._ **

 

**I don’t have a crush on him**

 

**I only like my bots**

 

**sometimes rhodey**

 

**sometimes you**

 

**Pepper, too but only because she runs SI and she would kill me otherwise**

 

**_(and my father, steve)_ **

 

**I’m blocking you**

 

**_NO FATHER I NEED YOUR ADVICE ON A ….SCIENCE THING…._ **

 

**Dad sent a photo:**

****

 

-

 

Sunday, December 19, 10:23 AM

 

_hey tony_

 

_i have a game later today_

 

_wish me luck !!!_

 

**That is adorable.**

 

**Do you have a mascot?**

 

_...Badgers_

 

**Aww, how quaint**

 

**So if you and Bucky do football**

 

**sports mean muscles**

 

**Do you have abs**

 

**(Askign for a friend)**

 

_yes, i have abs tony_

 

_but i used to be super skinny_

 

_like, sickly_

 

_now I sleep way too much_

 

_because I actually can without waking up in pain_

 

**Wow**

 

**Way to rain on my steve-with-muscles parade**

 

_I feel like perv parade would have worked better_

 

**Alliteration. Nice. Completely insulting and untrue, but funny nonetheless.**

 

_i get that a lot_

 

_anything going on for you today?_

 

**Rhodey, the guy i mentioned before?**

 

**He’s going back home today**

 

**He was here in ny to cheer me up**

 

**So I’m back to work. Meetings and shit.**

 

**Not that I mind it. I do care about SI**

 

**But I like to care about it by actually doing shit. Not kissing the ass of every old white guy you can name and more.**

 

_oh man_

 

_that makes my thing look rly stupid_

 

_im sorry :(_

 

**No, its cool**

 

-

 

Sunday, December 19, 1:37 PM

 

**I just met Pepper’s new boyfriend**

 

_im assuming you mean Pepper Potts_

 

_but im not sure_

 

**Oh, yeah**

 

**We uh**

 

**Dated. for a while.**

 

**But I’m reckless. And stupid. It was too much for her. So we broke up before anybody found out and she became CEO when my parents died.**

 

**She deserves all my money and more**

 

**And I’m happy she is happy with Bruce**

 

**I just kinda wish I was happy too**

 

_Bruce is the new boyfriend?_

 

**Yeah, he’s cool. Science guy like me, but a lot less,, boozey. So.**

 

_are you not happy?_

 

**That’s. A loaded question.**

 

**My life certainly isn’t boring.**

 

**But I occasionally go 72 hours without sleeping and maybe sometimes I get piss drunk just so I’ll pass out so I can finally fucking sleep**

 

**Shit. Sorry for dumping all that on you.**

 

**Can we change the subject?**

 

_its fine, tony_

 

_ur fine._

 

-

 

Sunday, December 19, 3:09 PM

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: tony stark defense squad uwu

 

**I’ve been at meetings. All day.**

 

**And I can officially say I might have a crush on steve.**

 

**Whom I’ve never met nor seen the face of.**

 

**Who named this groupchat?**

 

**_ppl who r better than you. like me._ **

 

**Did a kid ten years younger than me just roast me?**

 

_WHO TAUGHT PEPPER THE WORD ROAST. NOT OKAY._

 

**_again: ppl who r better than you. like me._ **

 

**Peter, stop roasting my friends. Pepper, stop using gen z slang; you are 24. Rhodey, you are an angel and I am delighted you are here.**

 

_Thank you._

 

**_WAIT DAD YOU HAVE A W H A  T ON W H O M S T ????_ **

 

**I have a crush. A stupid, juvenile crush on steve.**

 

**Oh, gosh. Please don’t mess this up, Tony. I googled him. He’s a good guy.**

 

_Pepper IM the best friend I should have done the research_

 

**_EXCUSE ME IM THE SON AND IM THE ONE WITH AN ACTUAL PLAN_ **

 

**Plan ??**

 

**_I know a girl. Who knows steve._ **

 

**Your plan is stalking. That’s called stalking.**

 

_Stalking LIKE A FOX_

 

**We are not stalking steve through peters weird lonely friend.**

 

**_My plan isn’t stalking! I just know what school Steve goes to._ **

 

**_Thats all._ **

 

_Are you proposing a surprise romantic gesture?_

 

**No. Not happening.**

 

**You could meet him. That would be nice. Ask him on a date!**

 

**Or I could throw a party and invite him. Like a normal person.**

 

_Damn, I wish I could see that_

 

**_CAN I COME_ **

 

**No.**

 

**_BUT DAAaAaaD_ **

 

**Let him come !! I wanna see my boy !!!**

 

**_D A A D AUNT PEPPER WANTS ME TO COME_ **

 

**Fine. No drinking.**

 

**That goes for you too, Tony.**

 

**Fuck.**

 

-

Monday, December 20 10:57 AM

**Tony sent an image:**

****

**Pay attention, Tony. We are in a meeting.**

**Tony sent an image:**

****


	3. horny 4 christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can really tell this is my first stony fic by the awful characterization and just generally bad plot

-

 

Monday, December 20 11:48 AM

 

_**did u ask steve abt the party yet** _

 

_**DAD** _

 

_**DAAaAAaaAAD** _

 

_**Oh man you have meetings today dont you** _

 

_**shit im sorry ill stop being annoying** _

 

**Kid**

 

**Ur fine**

 

**Annoy me more. This meeting is boring af.**

 

_**Dont use af old man** _

 

**Dad sent an image:**

****

 

**_Oh wow_ **

 

**_violent._ **

 

**Do you think I should get DUM-E a phone?**

 

_**would he be able to use it?** _

 

**Honestly probably not**

 

**But im gonna do it anyway**

 

_ **stop doing it in ur head and pay attention or peppers gonna kill you** _

 

**Did she tell you to say that**

 

**_…..no_ **

 

**Ugh. Traitors. Bye, kid**

 

**_bye dad <3_ **

 

-

 

Monday, December 20 1:58 PM

 

**Do you know where Tony is?**

 

**I’m going to murder him.**

 

**_god i wish that were me.jpeg_ **

 

** Not a funny joke, Peter **

 

-

 

Monday, December 20 2:04 PM

 

**Steve when I die do u want money**

 

**bc Im about to be murdered**

 

_ what did you DO  _

 

**I uh**

 

**snuck out of my day of meetings**

 

**I only missed the last two**

 

**And I am a little tired of hearing about how Pep and I are ruining SI**

 

**I need a drink**

 

_ r u sure you should be drinking right now? _

 

_ tony  _

 

_ tonyyyy _

 

_ :( _

 

-

 

Monday, December 20 7:31 PM

 

[PHONE CALL]

 

“ _ Tony? What’s up?” _

 

**“Am I an asshole?”**

 

_ “What? Tony, of course not--”  _

 

**“Don’t lie to me because everyone else says that I am and, *sniff*, I’m really drunk right now and I found a photo of Steve on his school’s website and oh my God, Rhodey, this guy does not deserve me in his life what do I do?”**

 

_ “Tony. How long has it been since you have slept?”  _

 

**“Um, Pep made me sleep before our meetings on Sunday, so…”**

 

_ “Tony. Go to sleep. Please?”  _

 

**“....”**

 

**“Okay.”**

 

_ “I’m going to hang up and you are going to get in bed, okay? Can you do that?”  _

 

**“Yeah. Thank you, Rhodey.”**

 

_ “Goodnight, Tony.”  _

 

[END PHONE CALL]

 

-

 

Monday, December 20 7:46 PM

_ Is this Steve?  _

 

_ the place was on fire when I got there i swear  _

 

_ What? No  _

 

_ This is Rhodey  _

 

_ Slightly concerned but moving on nonetheless _

 

_ Has Tony texted you?  _

 

_ yes actually  _

 

_ all he really said was that he snuck off and that he needed a drink _

 

_ i told him not to but he never responded  _

 

_ is he ok?  _

 

_ Yes, I think. He’ll be fine.  _

 

_ Where do you live, Steve?  _

 

_ im in brooklyn rn  _

 

_ 4 holidays  _

 

_ why?  _

 

_ Just wondering. Would you be willing to go and get him if he is really in danger?  _

 

_ obviously _

 

_ was already thinking of it  _

 

_ Good.  _

 

-

 

Monday, December 20 9:43 PM

 

_ tony?  _

 

_ could you please answer me?  _

 

_ im just worried. _

 

[PHONE CALL] 

 

**“Am I cute?”**

 

_ “...What?” _

 

**“D’ya think I’m cute? Don’t hold back, because I just took an hour long nap and I’ve mostly sobered up.”**

 

_ “....” _

 

**“And also I found a picture of you. Is that creepy? Probably. Anyway, you won some award for art. You didn’t tell me you were an artist, Stevie-kins. Back to the point, you are adorable. You** **_seriously_ ** **undersold the muscles. I cannot possibly compete with the guy standing next to you, by the way, is that Bucky? Shit, I had a point here. Am I cute? ‘Cuz you’re cute.”**

 

_ “...Tony, are you okay?”  _

 

**“What? Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, my brain can’t possibly shut up long enough for me to fucking sleep and...I was sober for months before today and I feel like a** **_complete_ ** **fucking disappointment and…”**

 

_ “Do you want me to come over?”  _

 

**“You’re all the way in Brooklyn right now.”**

 

_ “And?” _

 

**“...”**

 

_ “I’d do it.”  _

 

**“You would, wouldn’t you? That is ridiculous. I should--”**

 

_ “Tony. You need more sleep.”  _

 

**“That’s--”**

 

_ “Tony.”  _

 

**“...I don’t know if I can. Look, it’s fine, I’ve gone twenty years like this.”**

 

_ “And?”  _

 

**“And I don’t need your help.”**

 

_ “And?”  _

 

**“I’m fine.”**

 

_ “Okay. If you really think so.”  _

 

**“Thank you.”**

 

_ “So I’ll just...hang up, and leave you be. I do have better things to do, anyway.”  _

 

**“This is reverse psychology and it’s not working at all, Steve.”**

 

_ “Is it not?”  _

 

**“You have no reason to care for me. You have no reason to think I’m a remotely good person, or that I have any redeeming qualities.** **_Steve_ ** **, we have barely even** **_spoken._ ** **And, I get way too attached. Ask Pepper.”**

 

_ “Stop trying to convince me that I shouldn’t like you.”  _

 

**“You shouldn’t.”**

 

_ “I don’t care. I do a lot of things I shouldn’t.”  _

 

**“Oh, how badass of you.”**

 

_ “Don’t do that.”  _

 

**“Do what?”**

 

_ “Be an asshole to try and drive me away.”  _

 

**“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just an asshole.”**

 

_ “Tony. I’m in your life now, whether you like it or not. I know what it’s like to need a friend. So just...okay?”  _

 

**“...Okay. Fine.”**

 

_ “Have you eaten?” _

 

**“Is this what it’s going to be like? Because this is kind of a bummer already--”**

 

_ “Tony.” _

 

**“No, mom, I have not eaten.”**

 

_ “*Laugh* You’re a shit. Eat. Please.”  _

 

**“...Can I get DUM-E to bring me food?”**

 

_ “Wait, your bot? Can he do that?”  _

 

**“Yes?”**

 

_ “Oh my gosh, I have to tell Bucky that. Wait, back to you. Get up and cook something. It’s a good habit.”  _

 

**“But...I don’t want to.”**

 

_ “I’ll send you a picture of me in the locker room. There’s wet hair and no shirt and I’m laughing. Is that enough incentive?”  _

 

**“Oh my fucking God, yes.”**

 

_ “But you have to get in bed afterwards. For at least 6 hours. And leave your phone across the room. At least closing your eyes is better than working.”  _

 

**“Steve.”**

 

_ “Tony.”  _

 

**“...Fine.”**

 

_ “Yay.”  _

 

**“Should I hang up now?”**

 

_ “I want a picture of you eating food in your bed.”  _

 

**“As proof, or do you just want to see me being lovably scrappy and adorable?”**

 

_ “Whichever one makes you do it.”  _

 

**“Aw, Stevie, thank you. I** **_am_ ** **scrappy and adorable.”**

 

_ “Bye, Tony.”  _

 

**“Bye, honeybunches.”**

 

[END PHONE CALL]

 

Tony had hung up before Steve had time to process or comment on the nickname. He smiled to himself, feeling a little stupid, holding his phone to his chest. 

 

“Oh my fucking God, Stevie, that was embarrassing to watch.” Steve, startled by the voice, turned around to see Bucky leaning in the doorway of his bedroom. He laughed, a little at himself, before walking directly past him and down the hall. 

 

“Is there a ‘Let’s Call Steve ‘Stevie’ For No Reason Against His Express Wishes Club?’” He asked his mother, who turned around and gave him a slightly disapproving yet fond smile. 

 

“We actually changed the name to the ‘Stony Club.” Bucky said, appearing next to him. 

 

“What does that even mean?” 

 

“You and this  _ Tony _ boy,” his mother explained. Steve decided then that the night was already awful. 

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 7:04 AM

 

**I just slept longer than what I thought was possible.**

 

**Thank you.**

 

_ anytime, tony  _

 

**Where’s my picture :(**

 

_ Oh yeah that  _

 

_ Steve <3 sent an image:  _

_ [IMAGE34.JPEG] _

 

**Tony sent an image:**

  
  


_ oh my gosh _

 

**Tony sent an image:**

 

**WAIT wrong one**

 

**Whatever it works anyway**

 

_ hndsnjsdn _

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 8:27 AM

 

_ i have an issue _

 

_ this is buckys first christmas without his parents.  _

 

_ the accident happened right after christmas last year  _

 

_ he’s staying with me  _

 

_ and my ma  _

 

_ and i know its really tough for him _

 

_ but im not sure how to help  _

 

**I’m awful at advice. But I’m an orphan too. And unfortunately I think this is something he’s gotta go through himself.**

 

_ hes been talking to this gal  _

 

***ignores the use of the word gal out of pity***

 

_ thanks.  _

 

_ ANYWAY,  _

 

_ her name is natasha  _

 

_ and she’s really cool. i think they’d be good together. its weird for me, though _

 

**Aw, peaches, you jealous?**

 

_ not really. its not a negative weird. an almost happy kind of weird.  _

 

**The weirdest of weirds: feeling happy.**

 

_ yeah.  _

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 11:34 AM 

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: tony stark defense squad uwu 

 

**anybody else like rly horny 4 christmas**

 

**like. not horny in a sexual way like I dont wanna fuck a tree but rly horny for christmas**

 

_ Tones, I think you mean excited.  _

 

**What’s wrong with you?**

 

**_I’M HORNY 4 CHRISTMAS TOO_ **

 

**FUCK YEAH THANX PETER**

 

_ I regret every choice I’ve ever made in my life that led to this very moment.  _

 

**_k i know im on tonys side but fucking mood_ **

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 12:23 PM 

 

**Do you have plan for new years?**

 

**Because I’m throwing a party. As I usually do. But I’m only inviting people I actually like this year.**

 

**You and Bucky should come. And whatever girl he has.**

 

**Or don’t. If that’s weird.**

 

**I’m gonna stop now.**

 

_ I would love to, Tony. Do you have an actual place and time yet?  _

 

**I’ll send a driver to get you at 8 on the 31st**

 

_ that’s a lil excessive _

 

**Fuck off. Let me do me.**

 

_ and THATS dirty _

 

**Damn straight.**

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 12:27 PM

 

_ B U C K  _ __   
  


_ WHY ARENT YOU HERE  _ __   
  


_ IM FREAKING OUT MAN  _

 

with nat 

 

did you know she lived in brooklyn bc i didnt

 

_...dont think she does.. moving on  _

 

what do u need 

 

_ TONY ASKED ME TO COME TO HIS PARTY  _

 

_ IS THAT ROMANTIC  _

 

_ FUCK  _

 

ohmy god steve

 

calm it 

 

_ oh and you and nat are invited too  _

 

WAIT OK THATS FUCKING COOL 


	4. stony fanclub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha Romanoff is a dorky badass. 
> 
> That's pretty much it.

 

Tony Stark was a lot of things. 

 

Impatient was, indeed, one of them. 

 

He knew what was coming. Steve,  _ perfect  _ Steve with blond hair and muscles and a 4.0 GPA (probably), wanted to be his  _ friend _ . He was waiting for himself to screw this up somehow, as cliche as it was. He screwed everything up-- he still found himself shocked that Rhodey and Peter still spoke to him. 

 

He took a deep breath, ignoring his emotional inner monologue, and then said, “JARVIS?” experimentally. 

 

“What can I do for you, Sir?” said a clean, british voice back. Tony had never been more proud of himself, a childlike amazement filling his chest. He hardly heard celebratory whirs and chirps coming from DUM-E over his own excitement. He almost went for his phone to call the real, actual Jarvis, before realizing he couldn’t. 

 

(See? Everybody ended up leaving him, purposeful or not.) 

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 4:37 PM

 

**_Hey, Steve_ **

 

**_Bucky gave me ur number :-)_ **

 

_ is this nat? _

 

**_Yes, isn’t it a little weird we haven’t texted b4?_ **

 

_ i always thought you were too busy murdering people to text i guess lmfao  _

 

**_What do you take me for, some kind of crazy assassin?_ **

****

**_Who can't even text while she murders? Ppl these days._ **

 

_ hdnssndjsnjd remind me to tell bucky you are insane  _

 

**_Will do !_ **

 

-

 

Tuesday, December 21 6:58 PM

 

_ did you ever have family dinner?   _

 

_ yknow, before.  _

 

_ this got rly rude rly quickly sorry  _

 

**No, it’s fine**

 

**And no, not really**

 

**Dear old dad and I never really got along enough to be in the same room**

 

_ huh  _

 

_ i wouldnt have guessed that  _

 

_ idk why  _

 

**Yeah, well**

 

**Rhodey is the closest thing ive got to a parental figure**

 

**After Jarvis**

 

_ whos jarvis?  _

 

**He was my**

 

**Butler? but he really just raised me. He died with my actual parents.**

 

_ wow  _

 

_ im sorry, tony  _

 

_ for a billionaire genius your life has been really rough _

 

**You forgot philanthropist and former playboy**

 

_ my apologies  _

 

**Damn straight**

 

_ you know you can talk to me, right?  _

 

**Yes, mother**

 

_ i dont have enough energy to look for a middle finger emoji but the sentiment is still there  _

 

**Noted.**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 12:09 AM

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: world domination :-)

 

**_So Steve has a crush on Tony Stark?_ **

 

_ no?  _

 

he means yes. 

 

_...i mean yes.  _

 

**_How does someone like Steve meet someone like Tony Stark?_ **

 

_ whats that supposed to mean?  _

 

**_Well, I mean its not like Tony Stark is known for being the type of person that befriends a dorky blond artist on the internet_ **

 

HA she called u dorky 

 

_ his name is just tony. and maybe you dont know him like i do.  _

 

**_Correct answer. Good job._ **

 

im so confused and kinda turned on 

 

_ me watching tony speak abt literally anything  _

 

**_Lmfaoo_ **

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 9:04 AM 

 

**What did Steve say about Tony?**

 

**_Exactly the right thing._ **

 

**Good.**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 10:57 AM 

 

**Do you follow Peter on twitter**

 

_ no? should i? _

 

**Yes he’s my son and i love him**

 

**@peterparkerr**

 

**And for some reason people follow him**

 

**But whatever. I’m cooler.**

 

_ didnt u say he wasnt ur son  _

 

**Ya but everything i say is bullshit so**

 

_ right yeah fucking MOOD  _

 

**Tony <3<3 sent a video: **

**[VIDEO.MP4]**

 

_ IS THAT A ROBOT OH MY GOD  _

 

**That’s DUM-E**

 

**The robot that caused all the shit with the press?**

 

_...you named an award winning, highly decorated robot/AI DUM-E ? _

 

**He’s a dummy**

 

**What did you want me to name it**

 

_ Im not sure. _

 

_ hey _ __   
  


 

_ did you get any sleep last night?  _

 

**Idk r u a dork**

 

_ so is that a yes?  _

 

**...self burn.**

 

**but no, I didn’t get any sleep. But I worked on something. Really big.**

 

_ but you need sleep.  _

 

**More than the world needs clean energy?**

 

_ sometimes, yes  _

 

**That’s stupid. I put billions of weapons out there until I was 18. It’s my responsibility to keep trying to save people.**

 

_ can you do that if you die of exhaustion? _

 

**that’s a little excessive.**

 

_ is it?  _

 

_ take a nap, tony _

 

_ please. for me?  _

 

**Fine. But only because your scary redhead friend and my scary redhead friend teamed up.**

 

_ wHAT  _

 

**Listen, I didn’t ask them to do that**

 

_ HOW DO THEY EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER _

 

_ go to sleep im. gonna go,  _

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 10:57 AM 

 

_ i know that we are in the same house right now  _

 

_ but can i gush about tony  _

 

_ because im too ashamed to say this stupid shit out loud but i need to get it out  _

 

go right ahead, punk 

 

but you owe me. 

 

_ HES _

_   
_ _ SO _

_   
_ _ ADORABLE  _

 

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

 

_ and what is really making me think  _

 

_ he has this persona  _

 

_ this “Tony Stark” that he shows the world _

 

_ and then there’s tony  _

 

_ who’s trying to save the world _

 

_ because people have told him that he ruined it  _

 

_ and he treats his robot like his pet  _

 

_ and he’s a dad to some kid with a bunch of twitter followers in queens  _

 

_ and the thing is?  _

 

_ they’re not even that different  _

 

_ Tony Stark doesn’t hide Just Tony, but nobody looks far enough  _

 

_ he sent me a video of him yelling at his robot  _

 

_ he told me its name was dummy and i had to stop myself from fucking saying i love you  _

 

_ he laughs in the video and i was inches away from writing a fucking sonnet about it _

 

aw, stevie 

 

ur whipped

 

im bringing natasha into this 

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 11:18 AM 

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: world domination :-)

 

NAAAAATASHAAA STEVE IS IN LOVVVEEE

 

_ love is a strong word  _

 

**_Is it?_ **

 

_ why r u questioning me im not the one secretly friends with the literal CEO of Stark Industries  _

 

**_Um, excuse me? She’s a temporary CEO she’s only 24_ **

 

excuse ME 

 

WHAT

 

_ ugh nvm  _

 

_ there’s nine days until the party  _

 

_ oh my god what if he kisses me at midnight  _

 

_ ohm y god  _

 

**_Ngl, that would be sort of adorable._ **

 

**_Who’s going to that party_ **

 

_ Tony said it was only people he actually liked  _

 

_ so it’s not a big press event or anything  _

 

what’s like. the dress code for this shit because the nicest thing I own is my uniform 

 

_ i dont know and everytime i think about it my body enters full panic  _

 

**_I can talk to Pepper about it so you don’t have to ask Tony_ **

 

_ stop scheming about my love life! _

 

_ ill just ask him  _

 

**_It’s funny that you think I’m going to stop._ **

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 12:14 PM 

 

**_Do you think they’ll kiss at midnight?_ **

 

**Natasha, I am one of the youngest female successful CEOs in America. I have important things to do.**

 

**But oh my god, that would be SO cute!**

 

**Should we start a fanclub?**

 

**_ON IT_ **

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 12:26 PM 

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: steve and tony forever <3

 

**_Hello, all._ **

 

**_i have hardly any of these numbers saved_ **

 

**_who are you guys_ **

 

**_i mean amazing gc name but still whomst ??_ **

 

_ I don’t have time for this _

 

_ But great groupchat name. _

 

**We are gathered here today to get Steve and Tony to date. I’m sick of seeing Tony so lonely.**

 

**_could this be considering meddling?_ **

 

**_and/or manipulative?_ **

 

_ Did you come here to win or did you come here to question? _

 

**_damn okay shit_ **

 

**_Steve and Tony mission one: new years kiss_ **

 

**What’s the plan?**

 

**_cant we just wait for them to do it on their own time_ **

 

_ I am partly on Peter’s side with this _

 

_ They made plans to see each other without us they might be able to kiss each other without us  _

 

_ They’re grown men.  _

 

**We can at least make sure they do!**

 

**_I have a plan. If they aren’t hardcore flirting by eleven I want you guys to follow my lead._ **

 

_...I’m gonna go try and get a day off work _

 

**_yay !! uncle rhodey !!!_ **

 

_ Oh my god.  _

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 3:26 PM

 

_ i think our friends are plotting against us  _

 

_ what will be referred to as “the natasha connection” seems to have banded them together _

 

**They’re calling themselves the stony fanclub**

 

**Peter told me they were gonna get shirts.**

 

_ huh. cool. _

 

**Isn’t it strange?**

 

**Apparently Pepper and Natasha have been friends for years**

 

**And yeah, your school is far away but you only really live 30 or 40 minutes away**

 

**How did I meet you by texting a wrong number?**

 

_ uh that sounds like a conspiracy  _

 

_ might wanna ask pepper about that  _

 

**Wait. Oh myg od.**

 

**I’ll be right back.**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 3:54 PM

 

**WHAT DID YOU DO PEPPER**

 

**Depends on what you know?**

 

**Okay**

 

**Let’s see what I know**

 

**You have an eighteen year old friend named Natasha**

 

**Who goes to the same school as Steve**

 

**Not sure how you met, but I’m pretty sure it’s unrelated.**

 

**Anyway,**

 

**I get a new phone so Ty can’t get my number.**

 

**I put Rhodey’s number in it, but I “”””accidentally”””” type it wrong**

 

**I just checked**

 

**Rhodey and Steve’s number aren’t similar**

 

**Did you change the number on purpose?**

 

**I’m sorry.**

 

**Pepper.**

 

**I know, it was manipulative and awful but**

 

**I wanted you to meet him!**

 

**Does Steve know?**

 

**Obviously not. He would never do that.**

 

**I’m so sorry, Tony**

 

**It’s really not that big of a deal**

 

**Yes, it is. It was manipulative. I should have just introduced him to you.**

 

**I never would have spoken to him if you were the one who told me to.**

 

**That didn’t mean I should have gone behind your back.**

 

**It’s fine, Pep**

 

**At least let me buy you food?**

 

**….Bring me chipotle. You know my order.**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 4:17 PM

 

**So, uh**

 

**Apparently we’ve been set up.**

 

**But on the bright side I’m getting a burrito**

 

_ well thank god _

 

**Are you angry?**

 

_ honestly?  _

 

_ no  _

 

_ I kinda love talking to you. _

 

**Oh**

 

**I kinda love talking to you too**

 

-

 

Wednesday, December 22 4:26 PM

 

**“I kinda love talking to you too” GOD I feel like I’m in high school**

 

_ You were eleven in high school, Tones.  _

 

**My point still fucking stands.**

 

-

 

“Do you really like him?” Tony looked up from his food through his lashes, deciding to fully look up when he saw the serious expression on her face. 

 

“Um.” He hesitated, fully aware of the heaviness of Pepper’s question. He’d been sleeping around since he was fifteen-- the only break he took was dating Pepper. It’s not like he really did that very often anymore, but he had his off weeks. 

 

“You don’t have to answer. I just don’t want you to…” She trailed off.  _ ‘Hurt him like you hurt me _ ’ went unspoken.

 

“He’s different,” was all Tony said. It was enough for the both of them. 


	5. b o y f r i e n d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> captain amomica and iron dad and their spidey son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry this sucks and its SO short but i wrote it as a break from original writing and now I want to go back to it so I hope you enjoy my anti climactic ending

**Bold is Tony**

_Italics is Steve_

**_Italics/Bold is Natasha_ **

Underlined is Bucky 

_Italics/Underlined is Rhodey_

**_Italics/Underlined/Bold is Peter_ **

 

Steve ran a hand through his hair in stress. Tony had last texted him about five minutes ago, an assurance that everything was going to be fine. The car Tony had sent for him (Which was, really, too much) stopped in front of the fucking _expensive_ looking apartment building. The driver said, “It’s the penthouse,” before Natasha gestured for him to get out of the car first.

 

He thanked the driver and walked out, followed by Bucky and Natasha. Natasha looked amazing, as usual, and she only made him look worse. Tony had been texting him almost nonstop for the past week or so, about anything and everything, but real life was different.

 

He and Tony were different. _So_ different.

 

What if Tony changed his mind? What if Tony didn’t see Steve romantically at all?

 

The elevator ride was quiet, Natasha whispering something in Bucky’s ear to make him laugh. Steve didn’t ask. He didn’t want to know. The doors opened into an expensive looking apartment.

 

In front of a couch, there were seven people sitting on the floor in a circle. Steve only recognized Tony and Pepper.

 

“Steve!” Tony yelled, standing and running over. He was fucking ethereal in real life, even more so than on a screen. Steve didn’t really expect the hug, but it was so welcome _and holy shit, Tony smelled like coconuts and happiness and sleep and Lord, he was gone on this boy_.

 

“Hi, Tony,” Steve said back. Steve was a great deal taller than Tony, so Tony was nestled into his chest. It felt warm and nice and Steve almost protested when he pulled away. Bucky and Natasha were still standing there, a little awkwardly.

 

“Shit, sorry, hi!” Tony said, shaking both Natasha and Bucky’s hands.

 

“Introduce us, Tony,” Pepper said from her spot on the floor. Her cheeks were a little red with tipsiness and she looked rather happy.

 

“Oh, uh,” Tony said. “Steve, Bucky, Nat.” He pointed at the three of them respectively. “This is Pepper, Peter, Bruce, Thor, Jane, and Darcy.”

 

Peter looked a little older than he was, but he was skinny and a little gangly. Bruce looked exactly how Steve had imagined he’d look, glasses and dark hair a little messy. He looked happy next to Pepper. Thor was big and Steve wondered for a moment how Tony knew a guy like that. He had the girl named Jane next to him and next to her was the girl called Darcy. “Make room, guys,” Tony finished.

 

Steve sat next to Tony, Bucky on his other side. Natasha sat between Bucky and Pepper.

 

“Why are we on the floor?” Steve asked. Darcy and Jane giggled.

 

“Uh…” Tony hesitated. “Because? It’s a thing we do. Get with it, Steve.”

 

“Yeah, Steve, get with it. Damn,” Bucky added, grabbing a bottle of alcohol from the middle.

 

“Everyone is drinking but me? Come on, guys!” Peter complained. Steve laughed louder than he really meant to at the stern look of Tony’s face.

 

“What?” Tony asked him.

 

“Nothing, you’re just-- You made such a _dad face._ ” The group collectively laughed, and Steve felt a happy pang of pride.

 

“Remind me to leave you out of my will,” said Tony, burying his face in his knees.

 

The night was, well, really weird. In a good way, though. They played a game of truth or dare, where Thor kept offering to take his pants off. It was funny though, and Steve laughed the whole time at Tony continuing to joke about making out with him the whole night.

 

(He was joking, though. Right?)

 

The game died down at around eleven thirty, when way more people started arriving. Apparently, Pepper and Natasha had changed the guest list to way more people than Tony wanted. Natasha winked at him.

 

He and Tony ended up on the balcony for privacy, though. He’d have to thank Natasha. They were both facing the view, standing next to each other. It was freezing cold and all Steve could feel was the heat radiating off of Tony.

 

“Are you here because of my money?” Tony asked, breaking the silence. Steve wanted to recoil at the words.

 

“What the fuck? No--That’s not--”

 

“I know. I know you aren’t that type of person. But I don’t _understand_ why you’re here. You’re younger than me, and-- and you go to a private school on an _art scholarship_ and we aren’t...we don’t go together. I’m not good enough--”

 

Steve kissed him. He didn’t really know why, but he needed to in that moment. It was like he didn’t have anything left to say, so he said it in a kiss.

 

And it was perfect.

  


-

 

Sunday, December 1 10:27 AM

 

oh my god steve 

 

are you even home? 

 

_no_

 

_im uh_

 

_still at tonys_

 

UM 

 

oh my GOD 

 

oh my god 

 

OH MY GOD 

 

_calm the fuck down maybe ???_

 

_BREAKING: EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY HAS SEX WITH BOYFRIEND, MORE AT SIX_

 

B O  Y  F R  I  E   N D 

 

uh wait 

 

i just remembered something 

 

did you peter n tony take pictures as mother father and son 

 

_….maybe…._

 

_………...i was the mom, maybe…….._

 

HAHAHAHA OH MYG OD 

 

thats amazing 

 

so, boyfriend? 

 

_I hope so. hes still asleep._

 

_does he want me to leave?_

 

_was this a one night stand_

 

_wait hes waking up shit bye_

 

-

 

Sunday, December 1 10:38 AM

 

GROUPCHAT NAME: steve and tony forever <3

 

steve said he wanted to be tony’s boyfriend 

 

and i think my life has changed 

 

**_arent drunk ppl supposed to be hungover_ **

 

boi i am NOT average fuck you 

 

**_Be nice, Bucky_ **

 

aw ok :( 

 

**_Apparently Tony just told Pepper they are going on a date next week. So._ **

 

**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_ **

 

**_SCREM_ **


End file.
